The Wounded Puppeteer: A Jungian Analysis of Brian Gitins – Coward, Monster, and the Quest for Wholeness in Afterlife
The Shadow: Anger and Strength
The Coward archetype, a part of the Shadow, represents the repressed or hidden aspects of ourselves, often associated with fear, internalized anger, anxiety, and avoidance. The same applies to the monster archetype.
The common thread between them is strength or aggression, which is not properly channelled. Thus, leading to:
– Repression and denial in the coward, resulting in resentment, passive aggression, and internalized anger. – the coward is driven by fear.
– Unhinged and uncontrolled expression in the monster, leading to rage and destructive tendencies – the monster evokes fear in others
In the TV series “Afterlife,” Brian Gittins, played by David Earl, is infamous for his outrageous and often offensive humor, as well as his controversial and provocative statements.
His first ask on the show was to be featured in the magazine for certain fascinating experiences he’d had around town.
However, a less popular opinion is that Brian’s character embodies both the coward and monster archetypes.
The Complex: Coward and Monster
Brian’s inner turmoil stems from his fear of being consumed by his shadow and his inability to embrace his anima, leading to a constant struggle between cowardice and monstrosity. He oscillates between suppressing his emotions and lashing out in anger, through his unconventional behavior and humor; a coping mechanism rooted in his past relationship, where he failed to set healthy boundaries, allowing his wife to treat him disrespectfully. Her eventual rejection of him led to a spiral of internalized anger, depression, and madness so intense that, in his words, death was too good for him.
He became a hoarder, neglected his personal hygiene, and engaged in provocative activities, using derogatory jokes about his ex-wife to hide his fears and insecurities. This unapologetic humor can be off-putting, threatening, or unsettling to polite society, leading some to view him as an outsider or a monster who shows no regard for his audience, disregarding the feelings of others, including women, children, and the community with his offensive jokes
Brian’s monstrous behavior towards his ex-wife, not only in his jokes, reveals a pattern of emotional abuse and cowardice, carefully disguised to assert power and control over someone no longer in his life, By mocking and belittling her behind her back, Brian showed that he is not only afraid of genuine connections and intimacy but also unable to take responsibility for his own actions and emotions. Thus, perpetuating a cycle of toxicity and negativity.
His profession as a puppeteer is a clever connection to the theme of strength, cowards, and monsters. It serves as a commentary on his need for control, reflected in his manipulation of his otherwise powerless puppets, which gives him an illusion of strength and power,
It is not uncommon to create monsters out of people like Brian, who hide their shame, fear, and vulnerability behind masks of behavior, speech, and appearance that differ from societal expectations, to stir up fear, misunderstanding, and uncertainty in our psyche.
It is the natural way our mind tends to make sense of the feeling of uncertainty they stir in us. Categorizing, simplifying, and labelling them as “other,” monstrous, or evil restores a sense of comfort and security in us, and in a way, deflects our own fears, insecurities, and guilt, while also absolving us of the need to understand or relate to their experiences, emotions, or perspectives. This makes it easy to dehumanize them – dismissing their feelings, needs, and rights, potentially leading to discrimination, prejudice, and harm.
This perpetuates the cycle, however. Because in a desperate attempt to connect or build intimacy, ostracized individuals like Brian, may then resort to monstrous actions.
Ratty and the Nonce – Kings of the Manosphere
However, not all take the same path as Brian, who never proudly claimed masculinity. At the other end of the spectrum, we have the main bullies of the show, the members of the manosphere – Ratty and the Nonce who never failed to torment whoever crossed their parts with their, disrupting the office peace, objectifying women, while ironically dressed in gentlemen’s attire.
Nicknames like “Growler Prowler” offer a glimpse into their toxic mindset, as they ridicule and belittle others, like James at the Tambury fair, and Brian in front of his wife and the entire village, all for their own amusement.
With Ratty and the Nonce, Gervais masterfully satirizes the arrogance of the manosphere, exposing its loud, boisterous, and hilarious facade, which often conceals cruelty and inhumanity.
Each encounter between Matt and these bullies forces him to assert his masculinity, and pushes him to confront his own darker impulses. Initially, he succumbs to their influence, agreeing to engage in objectifying behavior e.g. bang a beaver. However, in the second encounter, he hesitantly stands up to them, although, from the safety of his office, restoring peace to his staff. After his heart attack scare, and his realization that avoiding confrontation can be harmful, Matt faces Ratty and the Nonce again. This time, he courageously calls them out on their bullying behavior, standing his ground even when ridiculed, and proudly showing his wife and child that he won’t back down.
Brian’s Alienated Strength
One could be right to say that bullies like Ratty and the Nonce offer a transformative opportunity for individuals at the opposite end of the toxic masculinity spectrum, like Brian and Matt; forcing them to own their strengths and confronting their shadow selves,
It’s noteworthy that the targets of Brian’s ridicule, his ex-wife and her lover, embodied the strength he lacked. Or one could say they represent his exiled or alienated strength. Despite their intimidating appearance, they showed kindness and cordiality towards him in public. Going to great lengths to defend him against the bullies -Ratty and the Nonce, with each of them boldly landing a solid punch. Thus, becoming a symbol of the strength and courage he couldn’t tap into himself, a stark contrast to his own cowardice and insecurity.
Integration and Wholeness
In a hilariously ironic twist, Brian remains unimpressed by the tough couple’s rescue, feeling belittled instead. His words,
“Time and again, I think I’ve hit rock bottom…but nope! Thousands of times, I’ve thought the only way is up…wrong again! Brian, you’re in for a surprise! Getting bullied in front of my ex-wife? Check! And then, Micky the gypsy, who’s now shagging my ex-wife, comes to the rescue and saves the day!
Talk about adding insult to injury!
This reaction exposes Brian’s fragile ego. His struggle to accept help or support from others, especially those perceived as stronger or more successful, masterfully showcases Brian’s toxic masculinity and its role in his emotional cowardice and feeling of emasculation at being rescued. He not only lacks courage and strength but also resents and belittles those who possess these qualities – revealing a deeper insecurity and a fear of being overshadowed or exposed as weak.
In tearing others down, he seeks to elevate himself and distract from his own shortcomings, a classic sign of emotional cowardice and a lack of personal strength.
Yet, as if seeing him for the first time, Valerie, who had witnessed Brian’s ridicule, asks him, “Tell me a joke.” Inviting him to showcase his humor and potentially connect with her on a different level.
True to form, Brian cracks another joke that seems cruel at first: “Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.” But, upon closer inspection, the joke reveals a profound metaphor for Brian’s own vulnerability and powerlessness. By sharing this joke, Brian is indirectly exposing his own wounds and insecurities, showcasing his ability to find humor in his pain. Valerie’s laughter and appreciation signify her acceptance and understanding of Brian’s vulnerability, creating a moment of connection and empathy between them.
A Crack in the Armor
This moment marks a subtle crack in Brian’s armor, allowing Valerie to glimpse the authentic person beneath. As Valerie and her friend help him dust his hair and invite him for coffee, symbolizing community and acceptance, a hand of friendship and solidarity, the transformative power of human kindness is highlighted. Also demonstrated is the fact that even in darkness. connection and redemption are possible. By appreciating his joke and offering kindness, Valerie and her friend validate Brian’s existence, showing him that he matters, and replacing his feelings of isolation and disconnection with a sense of belonging and being heard and seen – a fundamental human need, reminiscent of his first scene in the series where he asked to be featured in the paper. To be seen.
To Be Seen
It’s beautiful to see Brian’s journey come full circle, from seeking superficial validation to finding meaningful connection and acceptance. He’s learning that true strength lies not in dominance or control but in vulnerability, empathy, and community. As Brené Brown so eloquently puts it, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, and creativity.” Brian’s story is a testament to the transformative power of human connection and the beauty of vulnerability.
Suffice to say, human nature is complex: the role of empathy and compassion in breaking down barriers and fostering a more supportive and inclusive environment for everyone can not be overemphasized.
It’s a powerful reminder that even the most unlikely individuals – those who may seem like monsters or cowards – secretly crave connection, validation, and acceptance. Their tough exterior often hides a deep-seated fear of vulnerability and rejection. But by looking beyond their facade and offering kindness, understanding, and acceptance, we can create a safe space for them to open up and reveal their hidden vulnerabilities.
Conclusion:
Brian’s initial desire for validation, expressed through his desire to appear in a magazine, was a cry for attention and recognition. But the story reveals that true validation comes from genuine human connection. Through his interactions with Valerie and her friend, he’s finally experiencing the acceptance and recognition he’s always craved. A powerful reminder that our greatest strengths lie in confronting our shadows and being vulnerable enough to be truly seen, heard, and loved.
Remember:
- When people feel unseen and unheard, they can transform into cowards then into monsters.
- Monsters are often created by circumstances and societal perceptions, rather than being inherently evil.
- Even those who appear monstrous may be hiding their own vulnerabilities and fears.
- Cowardice can manifest in various forms, such as hiding behind humor or provocative behavior to avoid genuine connection and intimacy.
- Fear and misunderstanding can lead to labeling someone a “monster”, perpetuating harmful stereotypes and stigma.
- The inability to channel anger and frustrations in a healthy way can create “cowards”, leading to harmful behaviors and toxic relationships.
- Consistently mocking or belittling others, especially ex-partners, can be a sign of unresolved issues and emotional cowardice.
- Detesting strength and courage in others may indicate one’s own weakness and emotional cowardice, stemming from a fear of being overshadowed or exposed.
To avoid the coward-monster loop, it’s essential to:
– Acknowledge and accept our anger
– Express it in a healthy, constructive way
– Channel it into creative outlets or personal growth
– Develop assertiveness and set boundaries
– Transform anger into a force for positive change
– Cultivate authentic connections with others
– Express ourselves more vulnerably and honestly
– Channel humor into positive and uplifting ways
– Develop empathy and understanding for those around us
Healthy anger management involves acknowledging, expressing, and directing anger in a way that promotes personal growth, boundaries, and positive change. By following these steps, we can transform our anger into a powerful force for good, fostering deeper connections and a more compassionate world.
Practical Exercises for Building Vulnerability:
- Share a personal struggle: Choose a trusted friend or family member and share a personal struggle or fear with them. Example: In season One, despite Tony’s reluctance to feature Brian in the magazine, Brian persisted. Though not very consciously done, his attempts to invite them into his space and see the mess of his home was an act of vulnerability.
- Write a vulnerability letter: Write a letter to someone you trust, sharing your thoughts, feelings, and fears. (You don’t have to send it!)
- Practice active listening: Listen to someone without judgment or offering solutions. Focus on understanding their perspective.
- Take a vulnerability risk: Share something personal or creative with others, like a piece of writing, art, or music.
- Have an imperfect conversation: Engage in a conversation without preparing what to say or trying to control the outcome.
- Show vulnerability in a relationship: Share your fears, doubts, or weaknesses with a partner or close friend.
- Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding when you make mistakes or have flaws.
- Share your emotions: Express your emotions openly and honestly with someone you trust.
- Be authentic in a group setting: Share your thoughts or feelings in a group, even if they differ from others.
- Embrace imperfection: Recognize that nobody is perfect and that it’s okay to make mistakes.
Remember, building vulnerability is a gradual process. Start small and work your way up to more significant risks. With time and practice, you’ll become more comfortable with vulnerability and develop deeper connections with others.
Practical Empathy-Building Strategies:
- Active listening:
– Maintain eye contact
– Avoid interrupting
– Paraphrase what the person said (e.g., “What I hear you saying is…”)
– Ask clarifying questions (e.g., “Can you elaborate on that?”)
Example: A friend is sharing their struggles with anxiety. You maintain eye contact, nod to show you’re engaged, and ask clarifying questions like “How did that make you feel?” or “What was going through your mind?”
- Perspective-taking:
– Imagine yourself in the person’s situation
– Think about how you would feel if you were in their shoes
– Try to see the situation from their point of view
Example: A colleague is sharing their frustration with a project. You imagine yourself in their position, think about how you would feel if you were facing the same challenges, and try to see the situation from their perspective.
. 3. Ask open-ended questions:
– Start with “what,” “how,” or “why”
– Avoid leading questions or ones that can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no”
– Encourage the person to share their thoughts and feelings
Example: A family member is sharing their struggles with a relationship. You ask open-ended questions like “What’s been the most challenging part for you?” or “How have you been feeling about the situation?”
- Reflect emotions:
– Identify the emotions the person is expressing
– Reflect them back in a non-judgmental way
– Show understanding and empathy
Example: A friend is sharing their sadness about a loss. You reflect their emotions back by saying, “I can see that you’re really struggling with this. It sounds like you’re feeling a lot of sadness and grief.”
- Show understanding:
– Let the person know that you understand and accept their feelings
– Avoid minimizing or dismissing their emotions
– Show empathy and validation
Example: A colleague is sharing their frustration with a situation. You show understanding by saying, “I can understand why you’d feel that way. It sounds really tough.”
- Put yourself in their shoes:
– Imagine how the person is feeling
– Try to understand their thoughts and feelings
– Show empathy and understanding
Example: A family member is sharing their struggles with a health issue. You put yourself in their shoes by imagining how you would feel if you were facing the same challenges, and show empathy and understanding.
- Practice mindfulness:
– Be present in the conversation
– Avoid distractions like your phone or other tasks
– Focus on the person and the conversation
Example: A friend is sharing their struggles with anxiety. You practice mindfulness by being fully present in the conversation, maintaining eye contact, and focusing on their words and emotions.
- Seek to understand:
– Approach conversations with a genuine desire to understand
– Avoid trying to win an argument or prove a point
– Focus on understanding the person’s perspective
Example: A colleague is sharing their opinion on a controversial topic. You seek to understand by asking questions, listening actively, and trying to see their point of view.
- Develop a non-judgmental attitude:
– Avoid making assumptions or jumping to conclusions
– Try to understand the person’s perspective without judgment
– Show empathy and understanding
- Example: A family member is sharing their struggles with addiction. You develop a non-judgmental attitude by avoiding assumptions or criticisms, and instead show empathy and understanding.
Engage in empathetic activities:
– Volunteer with a organization that helps people in need
– Read literature or watch films that explore different perspectives and experiences
– Engage in conversations with people from different backgrounds and cultures
Example: You volunteer at a local soup kitchen and engage in conversations with the people you serve. You listen to their stories, show empathy and understanding, and try to see the world from their perspective.
Tips for Building A Supportive Community:
- Join a therapy group:
– Search online for therapy groups in your area
– Contact a therapist or counselor to inquire about group sessions
– Share your struggles and experiences with the group
– Listen to others and offer support and encouragement
Example: You join a therapy group for anxiety and share your struggles with the group. You also listen to others and offer support and encouragement.
- Volunteer:
– Research local organizations or charities that align with your values
– Contact them to inquire about volunteer opportunities
– Help others in need, such as serving at a soup kitchen or helping at a homeless shelter
– Reflect on your experiences and how they’ve impacted you
Example: You volunteer at a local animal shelter and help care for animals. You reflect on how this experience has helped you develop empathy and a sense of purpose.
- Support groups:
– Search online for support groups in your area
– Contact a support group leader or facilitator to inquire about meetings
– Share your experiences and struggles with the group
– Listen to others and offer support and encouragement
Example: You join a support group for addiction and share your struggles with the group. You also listen to others and offer support and encouragement.
- Online communities:
– Search social media or online forums for groups centered around shared interests or experiences
– Join the group and participate in discussions
– Share your thoughts and experiences with the group
– Connect with others through messaging or video calls
Example: You join an online forum for people with anxiety and participate in discussions. You share your thoughts and experiences with the group and connect with others through messaging.
- Meetup groups:
– Search (link unavailable) for groups centered around various activities or interests
– Join a group and attend in-person gatherings
– Share your interests and experiences with the group
– Connect with others through conversations and activities
Example: You join a Meetup group for hiking and attend in-person hikes. You share your love of nature with the group and connect with others through conversations and activities.
Brian weeps, his tears a deluge deep
But Sandra, maiden of possibilities, does keep
Hope’s flame alive, a beacon bright
Transforming his darkness into a sensation in sight
When we’re seen and heard, our true selves shine
Our voices and stories connecting, making hearts entwine
I delivered papers, spreading humor like a flame
Transforming my past, into a comedy Hall of Fame
My life’s a spectacle, a comedy extravaganza so grand
Embracing my quirks, my heart made of sparkles and rainbow hands
In the end, it’s not the struggles that define so fine
But the laughter, humor, and story that make my spirit shine!