32. A CRAZY WOMAN LIVES HERE.

Heaven is hiding behind the door in jewel’s kitchen with a ladle in her hand. Through the tiny space, she watches the screens that grace a wall on jewel’s living room. There are about 50 of them, displaying various people in the privacy of their homes. Oblivious that as they make love, use the bathroom, cook, dance and watch tv, they are providing weird entertainments for the elites who surprisingly, even a broke jewel is a part of. Evidently, Andre was right. She clenches her other fist as bile rises in her.

The door presses against her sharply and she lets out a squeal.

Jewel has discovered the invasion to her home, and  is  pressing the sharp end of a silver knife against Heaven’s neck.

“Now, Jew… Jewe… don’t do anything rash,” Heaven stammers. “I was just hoping to clear the air between us.”

“With a ladle?” She stretches her hand for the ladle.

“I didn’t know what to expect. I heard… I heard that you are not mentally… I heard that you are not well, that your mind is shrouded in darkness, and the pills now call the shots. I heard the… but … I guess they were wrong. No harm. I am your sister. You can trust me.” She hands the ladle to Jewel.

Jewel relinquishes her grip and Heaven maneuvers and wrestles her to the floor.

“You are hurting me.” Cries Jewel, flailing as she tries to hold on to both the knife and the ladle.

Heaven seizes the knife and threatens to dig it in her  eyes. She sees they  red and Jewel is looking frail.

“You are just a weak ass aren’t you?” Heaven hisses. The pent up anger  of the past months dredging up. “You all watched me get lynched. You all ganged up against me.”

“Hahaha. Are you trying to beat a confession out of me? Or God forbid, a repentance? Yeah.” Says jewel as she struggles to free her neck from Heaven’s grip. “I was in on it. I needed a trick. It was fun. Now tell me, what are you going to do about that?”

Heaven frees jewel’s neck but remainS seated on her midsection, panting.

“The fight is over Heaven. I am tired .”  Says Jewel. ‘We all are. You win. All our lives we have been running your race. Your race, Heaven. Win or lose, it is a win for you, and a loss for us. We have all accepted this. Even Danielle.  She wanted to disappear, start her life  over . But she wanted to do it sinking you. I helped her do so, trickster that I am. Yet here you are. For a minute there, I thought we’d suffer the same fate but you rose out of it eh. Good for you. Good for you, Heaven. There is no taking you down is there? You want the truth? I hate to see you well. So go on, put the knife in me. Help me find the darkness that beckons. Put an end to my endless crying and trying and failing and rising to fail again. But don’t choke my neck and strangle my truth.”

“I thought your beef was with her, and you only used me as a ruse. That, I could even forgive. But it turns out…” Heaven trails off.

“Oh, shut up, ” drawls jewel. “You are the one whose dreams came true. You loved that we didn’t have your strength and vision.”

“But you did. You ran for the office of the Presidency. Takes guts to do that.”

“As the candidate of an unknown party.”

“You got the youths on your side. You were making waves. You dared to dream. Till Danielle sabotaged your run by revealing …. It doesn’t matter what she revealed.” Says Heaven. “You let it get to you and became a vegetable. You hid in your arts and lied that the drug was just to enhance your creativity. You covered up your pain in toxic positivity of forgiveness and became Danielle’s tool.”

“Daniele is a winner. At least people think so. I wanted to be a part of that illusion, so I camped with her.” Jewel says, and lets out a bitter laugh. “What a lie our lives have been. Its pathetic, isn’t it?” She sits up. “You got us chasing shadows Heaven, all because of that oath.”

“Speaking of the oath.”

“Please don’t bring up the fetus.”

“It’s our story jewel. why did you let her do that to you? Why … why didn’t you stop us?”

“You have never been in a situation when your survival required you be quiet. And pleasing. Have you?”

Heaven stands up, shaken by what she had just heard. The knife makes a clinging sound as she loses grip of it.

Jewel reaches for it, but as Heaven kicks it further away, Jewel rakes her and Heaven finds herself once again on the floor in a tussle with jewel. She gains the upper hand and pummels her friend with her fist.

“Fight fool, you bloody well fight,” She yells. She hits her across the face more venom rising with each punch. She soon realizes with frustration, that Jewel is too stoned to pack any real punch.

Mustering some restraint, she rises and kicks the frail looking jewel then begins to pace the kitchen.

For a moment she is filled with self-loathing, for beating a friend who is clearly in more distress than she is. But then she remembers Jewel’s nightly prayer back in the University. ‘For I am in distress; affliction is wearing down my eyes, my throat and my insides.’ And almost laughs out loud

She had always wondered why anyone needed to end their day with such prayers. ‘My life is worn out by sorrow.’ Really?

“You like this don’t you?” She asks. “You like being a victim. First it was your mother being a maid to the Stones, then it was Senator Stones raping you, then it was Danielle controlling you, now it is the Men Behind the Seventh Veil stealing your soul. You will like to pin something on me as well. What am I saying, you already have. I went on a tirade about my dream and got you to abandon yours so you could beat me at mine. Then when you failed and your plan to destroy me also failed, I came here and wounded what is left of your brokenness. I won’t give you that satisfaction. Never. So, you may as well rise and face me women to woman.”

But jewel only whimpers as if struck by a heroin overdose,  Whatever it is that has her stricken is unfathomable. One minute she is lucidly expressing her hatred the next she is like moving her arms like jelly.

“You have to quit this habit. Whatever it is they are inundating you with.” Says Heaven, crouching to touch her friend. “Yes,” she continues calmly. “I wasn’t raped and didn’t develop a Stockholm’s attachment to my rapist benefactor, but my mom…. our mom… she dropped us. Left us. Hell, I had to fight for citizenship when originally, I was born here but bringing that up will be opening unhealed abandonment wounds, wont it? But I don’t let it define me. It tried to eat me up and I fought back. I spent my life as a poor adopted baby who had to be good. So good she would never be discarded again. And when my so-called friends discarded me, it drove me crazy but like you said, here I am. Again.”

“Please spare me. I am too tired for your goody two shoes story.” Slurs Jewel.

“You are not tired,” replies Heaven. “Just self-destroying. Wasting., a bag of skins and bones, with her inner deity cramped and wrinkled. that’s what the papers said.”

“Congratulations on being a survivor.” Hisses Jewel.

“Don’t you get it? They have you under their control. The Men Behind the Seventh veil and all their cohorts on this iwall project. They feed you with drugs and perverse images to keep you distracted while they steal your soul.”

“Oh, look the savior is here to rescue me.”

“Honestly, I came for my pound of flesh. I was furious when details revealed you were in on Danielle’s plans, while you pretended to be my friend, while you fed me hallucinatory drugs in my weakest moments.  But seeing you now, the part of me knitted to our sisterhood won’t let go.”

“My friend and my co angel.” Jewel scoffs. “I am touched. Please set my mind free, and piece together my pieces. Ha! I scream, Heaven, but not in pain.”

“You scream because you have lost your soul to the men behind the seventh veil.”

“I also have a Komodo dragon in my backyard, but I will rather be eaten by it, than be rescued by you. So, go. Chase your dream. Recover all that we stole from you. Maybe one day you will touch the stars again. But I already live among them. And of what use is my soul if it can’t buy me some bliss? So go on Heaven. take your light, its ruining my night.”